Crocs vs. Birkenstocks

The debate that nobody asked for but is here- crocs vs. Birkenstocks. Quit honestly, it was a hot dreary day and I was kicking around dumb ideas and somehow this one stuck. My initial thought was that Crocs would get zero votes. And with Birkenstock’s second act heating up (apparently for people WAY younger than me), I thought it would be a very pro Birks crowd. Surprise! Surprise! We actually got a few votes for Crocs and a lot of ‘I’d rather go barefoot.’ Well we want to get to the truth so let’s go to the Pros and Cons for each.

Crocs

Pros

• They’re inexpensive
• You can put those cool buttons in them
• They slide on easily (also see Pro’s for Birks)
• They actually offer other variations/styles. (Although for this argument it’s strictly classic croc vs. classic Birk)

Cons

• Butt ugly
• Should not be worn by anyone over the age of 12
• Look like the low top version of a shrimpin boot (Shout out to Lauren Prats for that quote)
• Look like a clog and a mermaid had a child

Birkenstocks

Pros

• Not Crocs
• Good quality material
• Also have a lot of style options/color ways
• Mold to your feet for comfort
• Experiencing a fashion renaissance
• Not crocs

Cons

• We’re not at a Phish concert
• It’s still just a sandal
• They mold to your feet and smell terrible
• They look like what you wear when you have surgery on your foot
• Look like the shoes that weird aunt of yours wears. You know the one that is a blast for the first hour and then hits the wine a little too hard and starts explaining how the cosmos are causing her hip to pop out of place. Yes, that aunt. She wears Birkenstocks.

Conclusion

Remember in the early 2000’s when everyone was wearing crazy colors and odd materials and weird fitting clothes? It was terrible right? Well even then they had the knowledge and fashion decency to wear beautiful shoes and not rubber clogs and cork sandals. My vote- barefoot.